I love crescent moon!
The figure,
created by overlapping of two circles, bounded by a half-ellipse and a
half-circle which depicts its nature of waxing and waning, reminds us about ups
and downs in our life. I often concentrate on the crescent and try to imagine
the center of the moon which is always overlapped and hidden like human
emotions which are there but not always visible!
Spotting
it after a gap of fifteen pitch dark nights has always been a curiosity for me.
And subsequent night to night watch, observation of rays and their changing intensities
with the shape and size of the moon! Watching the rays penetrating darkness and
gradually diluting and then wiping it! Thus giving birth to new hopes synchronising
with my desires and nourishing my revolutionary optimistic thinking! Perhaps it
is even more than a mere curiosity!
It has always
remained and will remain an ecstatic experience. But when I see full moon,
despite the magnanimous brightness spread all around, I feel scared because I
have known it for certain that the moon is soon going to dive in to a dreadful walled
chamber of opaque darkness! Thus giving birth to doubts, apprehensions and reactionary
pessimistic thoughts!
That has
always been an unpleasant and agonising experience!!
I loved
Poorni. Maybe that is the reason for my obsession to watch the crescent moon!
I had spotted
Poorni and then watched her appearance as if she too was a crescent moon! And that
used to make my evenings pleasant, nourish my hopes and shape my desires! Her appearance
and disappearance again and again used to be a lasting pleasure for many days! But
when Poornima Sharma was face to face with me the result was a disaster!
Memories of
that sad incident keep me haunting even after nearly three decades!
***
I had joined
my new posting in a beautiful hilly town. Since there was no college in the
vicinity of the project area shifting my family was not advisable, I had to live
alone in my official quarters.. Initially, except for a few officers, everybody
was a total stranger but being the senior most officer I was supposed to be the
custodian of the housing colony where I had to reside and expected to know
everybody. It felt strange then but within a short time every face was familiar
to me. It was a rejoicing experience of exchanging feelings of coexistence with
warmth and affection.
It was a wonderful
but a strange experience for two main reasons. First, I was just forty then and
it used be an amazing situation for me because every female or male resident even
ten years older than I would address me as ‘Father’! And the second was the strange
human relationship which I had never experienced earlier. No employees, whether
senior and junior, had rank or cadre complex. They lived in a congenial
atmosphere. It was a privilege to live with such wonderful human beings. Living
all alone could have made my personal life difficult, but destiny had kept something
very good in store for me.
The town was
a night stop for road passengers on their way to a health resort. So I usually enjoyed
the company of some friends or unknown people connected to different branches of
Fine Arts. Discussions on current affairs or fine arts used to be refreshing.
Some very close friends, despite their reservation in our Departmental Rest House,
preferred to spend pleasant evenings with me. They would drop in in the evening
and generally leave early morning.
Memories of
one such evening are fresh in my mind even today.
I had the
privilege to have a very well-known folk singer as my guest. The guest had some
more singers in his team. All of them were fabulous entertainers. All of us
enjoyed singing, mimicking and very loud laughing. Many often, the programme
extended till mid night.
When my
guests would leave, it was a very refreshing morning. But when I heard the piercing
sound of the call bell, I became conscious about the sound pollution our music
programme had created the previous night. Some residents of the colony had come
in group as if to express their displeasure. My servant Bishan opened the door while
I quietly listened to Bishan’s conversation with the visitors. It was a big
relief for me to know that they had not come to complain. In fact all of them
had enjoyed the catchy music and songs which had echoed in the colony for most
of the night. They appreciated the singing programme and had come to see and
meet the performers, but were disappointed to learn that the artists had
already left.
When they
left I overheard a female voice which sounded musical but instead of appreciating
the songs sung by the performers, she wanted to confirm the names of the singers.
Besides that she was very keen to know if I was one of the three singers?
I was
shocked to notice that Bishan, who was always courteous to everybody who came
to meet me, was not interested to tell anything to that lady. Bishan’s very cold
response had perhaps put her off. I could guess it from her gestures before she
suddenly disappeared. Obviously doubts bogged my mind. But I had my own limitations
and therefore could not interrogate or investigate why he did it.
But my
curiosity compelled me to find out who she was! Pretending that I love a bare footed
walk on the grasses wet with morning dew I kept looking around.
I had not
to wait for long because I noticed a very beautiful lady dressed in white in
the flat next to mine.
My
curiosity turned into hopes when she overtly sought attention. She gave a magical
smile with her hands folded. I could read her lips conveying ‘Namaskaar’. But when Bishan came closer
to me she suddenly disappeared again.
Her mysterious
appearance and disappearance was a breath-taking happening for about a fortnight.
I knew that one of my office clerks, Niranjan Sharma lived in that flat with his
wife. Had she been a member of his family she would have been introduced to me as
per the precedence, soon after I moved in the colony, I was expected to knock every
door of the colony to introduce myself and thus know every member of the families.
But I never saw her at that time. Was she a relative or a guest of Sharma Ji? It
would have been inappropriate to ask Bishan or anybody else for obvious
reasons. Therefore I had no choice but to keep on guessing about the lady who had
become an attraction for me!
But just two
days before Holi the festival of colour when I was personally supervising arrangements
Gautam, my personal assistan, gave me a great surprise!
Gautam gave
me an application and told that Niranjan Sharma’s daughter Poornima has
requested for a meeting. He said Poornima is known to every family living in the
colony but close to none, not even to her parents. Her interest in music was the
only link with the residents of the colony, and that too when she wanted to
participate! She would never oblige when asked or requested to sing. That
sounded strange but the thought of meeting her in person was certainly a memorable
moment at that time.
I was
thrilled to see a typed application enclosed with her bio-data. She had requested
for a meeting with me in my capacity as custodian of the colony. So without perusing
her bio-data or even reading the application I quickly wrote ‘Welcome any
time!’ on her application.
During
Holi celebrations Poorni kept herself away from the colours but did join the get-together
of the residents organised by me in the open lawn in front of my quarter. She
sang a folk song too but stopped at that. And then disappeared. Except for me
no one was surprised.
In view of
my official limitations I could neither enquire nor investigate why she behaved
the way she did. But when everybody had left and I entered my flat . Bishan informed
me that Poorni has been waiting for me for more than three hours and that he could
not stop her. He wanted to tell me something more but I just ignored him and
entered my drawing room.
There she
was!
I was face
to face with her in my drawing room. Her voluptuous body in loose white dress
was seeking attention, particularly when she was raising her arms up the way a sailor
sets right the direction of the sail!
When she spoke
I felt I was hearing the soothing sound of a stream cascading from a hill, much
like the beats of gushing water.
I wanted
to tell her about my obsession about crescent moon since I was teenage! And her
being the only one as charming as a crescent moon!
I wanted to
know from her why she kept herself away from mixing with people? But how she was
taking interest in me?
She did not
give me a chance to speak but I kept on listening what she said!
I felt as
if a glacier had melted and the water was flowing!
She was
disciplined, precise and cool. Surprisingly she raised some mature and
pertinent questions and then she herself explained some of the responses to
these questions logically or symbolically.
Initially
I enjoyed her flow of thoughts regarding life as it is! I was convinced that all
of us are born with destined life and thus was convinced that it is a sin to
call a person a sinner and give punishment. During our three-hour discussion
she referred to symbolic and allegoric interpretations in the Hindu mythology.
She
convinced me that Shiva is Matter and Shakti is Energy! Hanumaan is symbolic
interpretation of Air and Wind, and thus immortal!
She kept on
impressing me with her general knowledge and her flair for fine arts. She also
expressed her critical involvement in socio-economic and cultural topics!
I was convinced
that she is in search of a person and a society which resonates similar frequency,
in search of a person with identical feelings and thoughts! Was she trying to know
if that person could be me!!
Then
suddenly she started criticising the creator of the Universe! With reference to
a Greek thinker she said “While giving shape
to Universe if God did not take the help of Geometry, then what could have been
the shape of Sun, Moon, Stars, Planets and Earth! Perhaps oceans would not have
separated continents, and countries with bays! Just earth on one side and water
on the other side!"
Since too
many of her thoughts had found a single outlet, I was convinced that the flow has
become turbulent. As such I kept on listening without registering anything.
It was
midnight and Bishan was getting impatient. He kept on giving me signals to wind
up!
Suddenly,
while suggesting the new shapes and human forms, Poorni raised her hand up.
Concentrating on her finger she said, “God
should have put an eye on this fingertip. Just watch. Height is increased. Area
of visibility is increased. Height can be reduced for close zoom in. Thus no
head moment is required, just a rotation of finger will serve the purpose!’’
Bishan could
not stop an instantaneous laughter at this. Poorni got offended and jumped to catch
him. Poorni’s father, who was perhaps standing outside my drawing room and anticipating
this moment, rushed in to control her daughter and forcibly took her away!
I was
utterly shocked to watch this anti-climax. Much before I could get back to my
feet, Bishan screamed and said, “Sir !
This was expected. That is why I was hinting to close this discussion. If not now
may be an hour later! That is why all of us avoid facing her. She keeps on narrating
the unseen glamour of Heaven but drags the listener towards Hell. Pity her unfortunate
father who has been controlling her from the day she got married. Poorni had spent
only one night with her husband. That too ten years ago!"
Full moon
had again dived in to the darkness!
Gradually
I overcame my apprehensive anxiety and optimistic curiosity about Poorni. For
nearly two years I never heard anything about her. I had realised that
expressing any further curiosity or an enquiry about her would attract
suspicion from the residents. Therefore I closed the chapter. But I must
confess that my desire to see the moon once again was hidden between too many lines
narrating life as it is and as it should have been according to Poornima.
Upon my transfer
and during my handing over of charge I found her application and bio-data tagged
in my personal file. For the first time I tried to read through her bio-data.
Her
bio-data triggered many surprises for me!
Poornima Sharma,
age 35 years, M A (Eng, Mus History}, resigned as Lecturer and the reason given
was suffocation caused by the surroundings. Her hobbies included listening to
soothing music and rich poetry, and reading books with symbolic and allegoric
matter. Favourite books- Tales from Panchtantra and Razor’s Edge. Besides these
details a quotation also figured at the bottom of the page- “Destiny dictates its own unwritten laws and
verdicts. Have to accept it! But then why punish a sinner and a criminal for a
sin or a crime they are destined to do? Why punish me for my doings which I am destined
to do!”
I cried. Even
condemned myself for not reading her bio-data before taking a hasty decision when
I met her in person, unaware and unprepared!. Could I have saved her if I had
known this?
I keep on
thinking and watching crescent moon which remains my obsession even now!
 |
Veerindar Patwari is a Civil Engineer currently enjoying retired
life in Egypt.
He is a well-known Urdu short story writer besides a playwright and an
acknowledged scriptwriter for TV and films. He has so far published 14
compilations of his short stories and dramas in Urdu. Delhi and Bihar Urdu academies have awarded
him for his literary contribution.
|
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