Future Memories by Charles EJ Moulton
It
reminded him of magnolia. Ludicrous, wasn’t it? After all this time, one little
smell brought back memories he had thought long gone. He ached not to remember
the smell and how it had aroused every sense in his body, his very soul. But
the memory was there. Again. And all it took was the scent of a strange woman
with the same perfume. It popped into his head now and then without warning.
Magnolia and lilacs, kisses in the rain. The scent travelled from that strange
woman standing just a few feet away up to his nose.
Magnolia.
The smell of happiness, the smell of that blouse she had left him before he
stepped on that boat. Now, some woman he didn’t know stood next to him in the
subway station and he again turned into a lost puppy. One puppy that hoped that
a miracle would save what had been destroyed.
He closed
his eyes.
It
couldn’t be, could it?
After all
this time, it couldn’t be.
Even now,
after a long day, one small hint sufficed to turn him into a ball of sensitivity.
Andrew sighed, succumbing to that smell, letting the whiff enter his nostrils.
Once again, he raised his eyebrows and closed his eyes and remembered favourite
songs, favourite places, favourite TV-programmes.
Angry, he
stepped away from that woman, grabbed into his bag and took out his book.
Sitting down, he closed his eyes and tried to remember his own past. Carefree.
Had he been carefree back then? Not really. Then why did he remember it so
fondly how she caressed him? Opening his eyes, Andrew saw who had been
producing the smell.
Blonde,
yes, blue eyed, yes. Old, yes. Well, sixty-something.
He looked
down on the book.
Memories
are private, he thought to himself.
Irreplacable.
A thought
shivered in his mind. It hung there like an empty sheet of paper dancing in the
wind. Who was he to judge his own memories? Blame a strange woman for wearing
his ex-girlfriend’s perfume? Was this pain? No. Not really. Memories long gone?
Yes. Bad? No, just lost. Lost in action, real in spirit.
For a
moment, Andrew glanced over at the woman as he stepped into his oncoming train.
The woman
looked up, nodding at him, as if she knew what he was going through. But that
was not possible, was it? The stinky subway stench rotting with old hamburger
leftovers and littered with rats, drenched with numb boredom, for one moment
shone in a strange light. The train doors not yet closed, the woman smiled at
him. One wink. Small, to say the least.
“I am
your memory,” her wink seemed to say.
The book
still in Andrew’s hand, he looked over and saw his bag still on the chair where
he had been sitting. Panic struck him, his heart skyrocketing into his head.
Something seemed to rip away from his heart and bang against his eyelids. He
saw money, telephones, keys, personal belongings, all gone, some burglar taking
it all away and Andrew having to run into the night and call the police. The
memories of thing yet to come brought on the dreaded feeling of having to call
fifty people to avoid being completely fathomed with misery. The feeling of emptiness
seemed to come from one bag left on a white metal bench in a silly subway
alleyway. The memory of the woman’s perfume disintegrated.
Andrew
jumped back onto the platform before the doors closed, grabbed the briefcase
and picked it up. The familiar leather greeted him again and that feeling of
emptiness filled up again and seemed to tell him that his soul clung to things.
Just things. What were they? Things, no more than things. That other voice told
him about reality, about keys to apartments and a smartphone filled with
professional contacts.
Andrew
grabbed the briefcase and ran back into the train, still there, patiently
waiting for him to calm down and sit down. Sit down. Sit down.
As he sat
down in the only free seat in the wagon, he closed his eyes again and
remembered that ex-girlfriend and how she had smelled. Calmly, he succumbed to
the lure of trying to imagine himself back in her arms. But he couldn’t. This
time, the smell gone and the briefcase in his hand, the new smell took over.
The smell of his own briefcase, his work in it, his life a new one, his goals
different, his hope renewed, he went back to smell the memory of magnolia. The
flower faded, he clung to a dream. The dream of a past that had changed into a
present. A present that was different. Different. Better. Yes, my God, much
better.
The train
left the tunnel and shot out into a new world.
Street
corners slowly filled up with angry salesmen and kissing lovers, impatient
parents and barking dogs, honking cars and laughing bartenders, parked cars and
nosepicking teenagers, yawning grandfathers and coughing cats, important
businessmen and attractive brunettes, discussing twenty-somethings and
disgusting thirty-somethings, persuasive forty-somethings and evasive
fifty-somethings, admired sixty-somethings and tired seventy-somethings,
wheelchaired eighty-somethings and deceased ninety-somethings.
The sun
rose above the plains as the train left the city.
As he
left the train, green grass met his eye. Blue sky seduced his spirit. The music
of the wind caressing his cheek felt like a promise to renew his own strength.
There, on
the platform, a little toddler came bouncing toward him.
“Papa,”
the toddler chanted.
Dropping
his briefcase onto the ground, into his arms he welcomed love.
A blonde
woman slanted her head to the side, smiling, holding her arms out to her sides.
The man smiled as the blonde woman affectionately morphed into his heart,
producing a sigh. She wore that other perfume that he loved. One perfume that
had nothing to do with magnolia. This one smelled of roses, discreet roses
whose beauty rested truthfully within the palm of reality. One whose strength
would outlast the eons.
The woman
kissed his lips and smiled at him, lovingly:
“How was Paris?”
“Business
meetings full of boring people,” Andrew shrugged. “Empty hotels, tasteless
food, sterile airports.”
He looked
at his briefcase, as it rested on the ground below.
“Paperwork,
paper,” he sneered, “so full of little words so meaningless that I yawned
myself through the night.”
Andrea
smiled at him. “Meet anyone you knew?”
“Nah,” he
said, truthfully. “I sat there in the hotel room ordering room service and
looking at some old movie, wishing I was home with you two.”
Andrea
closed her eyes, giving her head a seductive twitch that spoke of homemade
cooking.
“You
know, Andrew,” she said, sighing. “You could have that success you are so
hungry for, if you take time to finish that book of yours. And I will give you
the greatest meal of your life. Let’s go.”
The
toddler called out a loud: “Da-dah!” as the family left the train station and
heading for a car. In the oven, a vegetarian dish waited for a warm oven. On
the wall, a familiar picture of a ship waited for a careful analysis. On the
bookshelf, children’s books were waiting to be read. In the attic, paintings
were waiting to be painted. In the computer, a book waited to be written. In
the house, a wife waited to be kissed. In the garden, a lawn waited to be
mowed. In the music room, a song waited to be composed. In his heart, a
courageous heart waited to be leapt out of its hole and rediscovered.
And so,
the family sat there, smiling, the toddler banging its blue plastic cup against
a high-chair. The couple held hands and ate in silence.
Andrew
realized, then and there, that he, after all, was the luckiest man in the
world.
| Charles E.J. Moulton has been a stage performer since age eleven. His trilingual, artistic upbringing, as the son of Gun Kronzell and Herbert Moulton, lead to a hundred stage productions, countless cross-over concerts, work as a bandleader and as an acting teacher. Publications such as Idea Gems, Vocal Images, Pill Hill Press and Aquarius Atlanta have published his work. He is a tourguide, a voice-over-speaker, a translator, is married and has a daughter. |
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